my crazy goal to complete all my UFOs before leaving town is progressing better than anticipated...
here you see the completed afghan for the fmaily of Julia Pryde. it is about 4' by 3' and very lush. the pattern is Summer Willows by Rena Stevens, knit using US 15s and Lion Brand chenille. i am taking yarn to start a second afghan for the family of Ryan Clark.
last night i finished the third set of socks for Travy. these were knit using Opal on US2 and are quite squooshy. had a scare Friday when i lost the first sock but was able to retrace my steps across town and track it down.
the argosy is pretty close. i am off to try and finish that before we head to the airport. perhaps i will have an addendum to this post before i leave town. we'll see.
i packed two new projects besides the afghan, but those are surprises for now. off to knit like a maniac!
ADDENDUM (4:12pm): Goal completed with 40 minutes to spare! Huzzah!!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
oh to be young again...
i could delight you with the progress on the afghan (>80% finished), the argosy (75% finished) or Travy's socks (75% finished) but i have decided i would rather bore you with my personal life...
yesterday, as part of project 'Move Halfway Across the Country A Few Days After Being Out of Town Most of Six Weeks', i went to the eye doctor to get new glasses. my lenses are trashed though i love my frames, and my eye doctor here is the first to successfully outsmart my amblyopia* and make glasses i can wear. very important as my eyes are less and less tolerant of prolonged contact wear - i have been wearing them since age 10 to slow deterioration of my vision.
'It looks like you will be needing new contacts in addition to new glasses...'
then she, oh so tactfully, drops the bomb...
'Perhaps, since we are going to replace your glasses, we should add a little correction.'
since i am mostly blind without my eye accoutrements, i am bumfuzzled.
it slowly dawns on me...
'You mean [pause] bifocals?'
'Or transitions. A lot of people go with transitions...'
i stare.
she is serious.
we decide, since i normally wear contacts during the work day and my new contact prescription may affect my glasses prescription anyway, that cheaters are a reasonable place to start.
i should be upset, but somehow i find this quite amusing (though i was clear with the guy at the drug store that he wasn't allowed to find it funny). the prices we doctors pay for the privilege of saving lives... and how very professorly.
behold me in my first pairs of reading glasses:
*yes- i got to wear a pirate's patch for some time as a child... why we have no pictures is beyond me.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Bleeding Hearts update
sorry about the 'radio silence' but i the last several days have been spent with amigraine and enjoined in the hell that is moving *all* of my packrat slob of a boyfriend's belongings from his basement apartment Boulder to Fort Fun in anticipation of mover quotes today. the entire weekend can be summed up by this exchange:
Me: You understand things will never ever be this way again, right?
Him: Yes. Definitely. I promise.
Me: [stony (trying to remember that he is moving across the country for me) stare] You understand I am serious. Never, ever again.
Him: I love you and you are scoring major points this weekend. They may even have to invent a new scale, you are earning so many points...
so anyway... behold the first contribution to the Bleeding Heart project, courtesy my (blogless) friend Phyllis:
i am also about 1/3 of the way through my little afghan for Julia Pryde's family: it is an afghan, seriously- not the spawn of Alien. i just had to stop mid-row to resume the packing from hell...
on a totally unrelated note, since i am many things but not a multi-tasker, i had to get something off the needles to make room for the afghan so i finished something for me... the sock to match the one provided by Lara.
aren't they just beautiful?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
In memoriam
disappears into emptiness with a thousand new disguises.
-Rumi
My family invites you to join us to knit* for the families of the victims in Blacksburg. We would like to knit a comfort item for each family over the next few weeks. This is going to be a challenging project given the horrific number of victims, but we unfortunately know from personal experience that timeliness is important. We are thinking smaller items like little blankets or scarves that can be cuddled would be ideal.
[*sewing and crochet are also obviously welcome.]
What we would like to do is try and customize the item to each victim by using information provided here as it becomes available. If you can help, please post your adopted family in the comments so that we can make sure each family is included.
Denise has generously granted permission to use her photo of Bleeding Heart blossoms as an icon:
Please feel free to cross-post this icon and links to this page so that we can try and complete the project as quickly as possible.
my brother is...
normal normal normal normal normal normal
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL
normal normal normal normal normal normal
normal normal normal normal normal normal
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
fun times, close calls, and more waiting
with about 80,000 other things to attend to, i had not really noticed the move to Tennessee hurtling in from the horizon until i went home to visit a few weeks ago. my chores between now and July 1 are as follows: finish dissertation revisions and submit to graduate school, finish and submit four scientific papers to scientific journals, find place to live, get requisite three moving quotes so UT can pick the cheapest, go to Arizona for all of May to earn spare cash for the move, complete two scientific posters and a short lecture for presentation at ACVIM (June 6-10), go to the eye doctor, pack, get suitcase fixed at special repair place an hour away, get materials to start developing advanced procedures laboratory and clinical service, move ~ June 15 and start work at UT July 1. oh yeah, and breathe.
whew!
obviously, some of these things need to be done sooner than others. figuring the threat of potential homelessness was one of the greater potential stressors, we decided to head to Knoxville for the weekend to find a place to live. in typical family fashion we made a festival of it with Mom, Rol, Bill* and Kelly all in tow for the search.
Dippy me forgot to get a photo before Bill & Kelly
left so i pasted them into this one!
*and Bill's lover, Matilda, their car's GPS vixen. Kelly calls her Lolita and i suspect will eventually install a hack to change her to a him. :)
Saturday we drove around like crazy people, from possibility to possibility without really seeing 'the one'. with desperation quietly pressing in, we decided to call places that hadn't returned my calls thus far which is how we found Eva. she is one of two people that manage a series of townhomes that looked really promising on paper. Eva was more than somewhat brusque at first - it turns out she was having a really bad day - but our good attitude is generally contagious, she is generally delightful and i up the ante by giving her emergency chocolate (Cadbury milk chocolate with almonds) from my purse. TraVy's dog is bit over their weight restrictions but we are hopeful that my excellent references, credit and qualifications will tip the scales. by the time we left, Eva was onboard, working her boss to get us the place, and providing helpful move-in phone numbers and tips. we will hopefully hear this week, so keep your fingers crossed!
the weekend was wonderfully fun and an overall success. Sunday was cold and rainy, but Monday was clear and we enjoyed toodling about campus before making our way leisurely to the airport. TraVy and i had an unnervingly close call as the first of our flights yesterday was landing. the plane was less than 10 feet from the ground when suddenly we shot back up at a 45 degree angle (though it felt more like 60). i thought, 'Well, at least everyone who needs to knows I love them.'
the plane tossed about rather wildly before leveling out, at which point the flight attendant came on to say, 'Trust me, it is a good thing we didn't land just then. The captain should be on shortly to explain.' apparently the captain was too busy trying to land the plane he second time round because he never did explain.
not knowing is way worse than knowing the worst for me so the second approach was beyond stressful. as an aside, i did learn that i fear makes me knit much much faster. the plane shimmied about erratically, almost as if there was equipment malfunctioning, but eventually we spotted some flags flailing in fierce winds. apparently the wind shear shot up during our first approach. the engine alarms were fierce enough to be audible to the flight attendant through the cockpit door. thankfully, the captain was on his toes, reacted quickly and averted disaster.
with all the flying and driving and flying and fear, i did get a lot done, knit-wise. i finished up the Falling leaves socks - knit with Senso on US 2s with 60 stitches instead of 72. i think they turned out rather cute. i will have to make another pair using yarn so the pattern can be appreciated because i think blocking these would diminish their silliness. although it was nice to knock out a pair of socks for $3 and the cotton will rock for summer, i don't recommend using Senso this way. it has no give so all the SSK and K2tog ended up hard on the fingers.
i hit the halfway point on the Argosy, which continues to please me immensely. between waiting in lines, some car knitting and bouts of severe turbulence when patterned knitting was not possible, i knit most of another pair of plain socks for TraVy using Opal and US 2s.
my brother had to reschedule his CT for today so he could attend a funeral. [yes, i am serious. our lives are really like this.] he had the scan today and i expect to receive a call by midday tomorrow from his doctor with the results. in the meantime, i am trying to focus on completing bureaucratic forms and adjusting the plans for Arizona. again, the not knowing really sucks. i have cast on my sock pal's sockmate twice so far today without managing to correctly follow the instructions. perhaps the third time is the charm... or perhaps i just need to force the cats off of my chest before casting on...
Thursday, April 12, 2007
i don't want to say 'i told you so'
right after my brother was first hospitalized for 'possibly dying', he rechecked with a primary care physician. the doctor, Dr. N we will call him, basically took the history, said, 'hypertension, right' and scheduled him for a recheck in a month. when Dr. N told me his 'plan,' an extended dialogue ensued that went something like this: [NOTE: You can skip to the bottom of the blockquote to minimize your pain if you have difficulty substituting Charlie Brown 'WAA WANH' for medical jargon.]
Dr N: I set an appointment for your brother to recheck in a month.
Me: You what? I'm sorry. Maybe I am missing something. You aren't going to check him for microalbuminuria, consider advanced imaging or run any blood work?
Dr N: He said he is feeling fine now and his BP is much better.
Me: How is 156/86 much better than 146/80?
Dr N: Well, one of his diastolics was over 120 so it is much better.
Me: When was it over 120? The highest number I was provided was 111.
Dr N: Well, I don't have the actual numbers or records, but... He says he feels fine now. So it obviously responded to the medication.
Me: What about the episode 3 weeks ago that resolved without treatment?
Dr N: Um. Oh.
Me: So you think it is okay for him to be driving around and climbing on rooftops when we don't know what happened or if it could just hit again?
Dr N: Well, the patient needs to take some responsibility. If he has symptoms, he shouldn't climb on a roof.
Me: So if he has advanced knowledge of impending acute onset of symptoms, he should divine not to get on a roof?... You are not going to even run a microalbuminuria assay to determine whether the hypertension was truly significant enough to cause encephalopathy? Or whether he should start ACE inhibitor therapy?
Dr N: I'm going to do it next month.
Me: ... when you won't know whether a normal test means the beta blocker is helping or whether it means hypertension was not relevant to the initial symptoms? I'm sorry. I am really not trying to be difficult but I must be missing something...
Dr N: I really don't think it is justified to run thousands of dollars of tests when we don't know what is wrong.
Me: The urine assay is cheap and will at least tell us whether this makes sense as a cause of his signs.
Dr N: But what if its positive? Then what am I to do?
Me: [long pause] Well, I don't entirely know right this second. But... no offense but...
Inability to develop an appropriate follow-up diagnostic plan does not justify inaction.
this went on at length until i could have screamed. finally i decided to just tell my brother what tests he needed so we could make sure nothing jumped up to bite us in the collective patoot later.
Dr N wrapped up (quite stuffily) with 'I will convey your concerns to your brother.'
whatever.
i called my bro and, in the interim, Dr N spoke to a human renal specialist who agreed with me [like that is a surprise]. Dr. N called my brother and volunteered an amended plan.
where am i going with this?
well, he had the urine test, which was positive, so they started him on ACE inhibitor therapy. they also scheduled an ultrasound of his kidneys for yesterday to stage blood flow etc. i approved wholeheartedly and my brain phased into chronic hypertension management but...
Dr. N called today to say that they may have found a possible mass/cyst/item on/in/near his kidney. they will be doing a CT on Monday to evaluate the area further and determine if there is a mass and, if so, what is involved. this is a test i almost convinced them to run when he was still hospitalized, since a type of adrenal tumor (pheochromocytoma) can cause intermittent severe hypertensive episodes and we do not really have a compelling history of essential hypertension in the family. once we discovered my brother was accidentally spiking his blood pressure by using an OTC nasal spray, i put the possibility of an adrenal mass out of my mind. now, given the ultrasound findings, it is back.
but it may not...
i find myself thinking over and over and over again, 'There isn't supposed to be anything. The tests are supposed to shake out as Essential Hypertension with iatrogenic exacerbation. Dr. N is supposed to think, "It all came out fine. That will show his pain in the ass sister... but it is better medicine this way and I will sleep better knowing the answers." He is not supposed to have to hang his head and order more tests dammit. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"'
it doesn't make sense to borrow trouble. if there is something to worry about, it will be here soon enough. if there is not, it is silly to have wasted bits of life worrying about nothing.
not too surprisingly given our recent family history, i have not had much luck today with not worrying...
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
chasing my tail
between incapacitation from jaw pain and Esther's 'post-operative complications', i have made almost no progress on catching up. happily, the world spins on without me.
my sock from Lara arrived today, envelope somewhat punctured but with contents intact. the sock is gorgeous- Knitpicks Victorian Diamond Top Socks in Knitpicks Gloss, burgundy. i am itching to get the second sock done so i can sport them about town. in addition, she included a truly delightful skein of Fancy Image merino in the happiest peach and melon shades and imported milk chocolate. with Esther on the mend again, i was able to finish out my return sock package and [finally] get it in the mail.
the tulip socks cast off on Saturday, leaving me at loose ends with cranky jaw. to avoid accidentally exacerbating matters, i decided to cast on Argosy in Noro Silk Garden Lite. normally i knit like i cook -substitution, substitution, substitution! - but i could not shake my fascination with the color play in the pattern photos. it is turning out even lovelier in person and i look forward to blocking it.
i could not entirely abandon socks since the pattern for Falling Leaves kept taunting me from the end table. i have already torn it out twice and ended up reducing the final stitch count by 12 for this third try. it is looking good so far, but i certainly won't be holding my breath.
what else? after working on revisions to my dissertation for awhile, i shifted gears and hauled out my boss's scanner. i brought back a slew of my grandmother Mickey's pictures after her death in August and have been scanning in and restoring them as best i can. so far i have scanned 167 pictures and there are probably another 75-100 to go. once the pictures are all scanned, the fam will review and provide details for the complete archive. finally, we are going to print custom photo albums for family of the photos of their choice with relevant comments. where am i going with this?
i bring you the hidden jewel i found during today's scanfest- a photo of my late grandmother Mickey with budgie. Enjoy!
my sock from Lara arrived today, envelope somewhat punctured but with contents intact. the sock is gorgeous- Knitpicks Victorian Diamond Top Socks in Knitpicks Gloss, burgundy. i am itching to get the second sock done so i can sport them about town. in addition, she included a truly delightful skein of Fancy Image merino in the happiest peach and melon shades and imported milk chocolate. with Esther on the mend again, i was able to finish out my return sock package and [finally] get it in the mail.
the tulip socks cast off on Saturday, leaving me at loose ends with cranky jaw. to avoid accidentally exacerbating matters, i decided to cast on Argosy in Noro Silk Garden Lite. normally i knit like i cook -substitution, substitution, substitution! - but i could not shake my fascination with the color play in the pattern photos. it is turning out even lovelier in person and i look forward to blocking it.
i could not entirely abandon socks since the pattern for Falling Leaves kept taunting me from the end table. i have already torn it out twice and ended up reducing the final stitch count by 12 for this third try. it is looking good so far, but i certainly won't be holding my breath.
what else? after working on revisions to my dissertation for awhile, i shifted gears and hauled out my boss's scanner. i brought back a slew of my grandmother Mickey's pictures after her death in August and have been scanning in and restoring them as best i can. so far i have scanned 167 pictures and there are probably another 75-100 to go. once the pictures are all scanned, the fam will review and provide details for the complete archive. finally, we are going to print custom photo albums for family of the photos of their choice with relevant comments. where am i going with this?
i bring you the hidden jewel i found during today's scanfest- a photo of my late grandmother Mickey with budgie. Enjoy!
Sunday, April 08, 2007
oh oh oh...
such sorrow. such pain. a serious knitting injury. okay. maybe only sort of knitting related... but first a knitting update.
i did indeed finish the monkey socks on Friday. i had been very stressed about running out of yarn, but ended up having plenty. well, not exactly. the leftover yarn is to the right of my feet and there was obviously no danger of running out but... i hit a knot when i was moving into shaping for the second toe. as will be apparent to any knitter, the yarn downstream was definitely from another dye lot. i considered frogging and making something else with the yarn but in the end decided not to. i don't wear socks with sandals so no one but me will know. given how delicious it is, this won't turn me off of Jitterbug but i will make sure to watch carefully for knots when the hanks are wound.
Friday, after picking up Esther and getting her shoe situation sorted out, i stopped by the local Hancock's Fabrics. it is a remarkably hideous place and is actually being closed. yes, indeedy. you know where i am headed with this- Store Closing Sale.
yarn was on sale 50% off but because it is an awful store, the purchases were quite limited. in the end, although i could find no yarn, i did find a reasonable amount of happily colored crochet thread (DMC Senso) that i suspected would work for socks. i have been wanting to make the Yarn Harlot's tulip socks so this made for a lovely opportunity to test drive both the thread and the pattern. i am almost done with the second sock and think the light cotton will make for perfect summer socks. (Note: they shouldn't be baggy on the intended recipient.)
the injury? oh yeah.
yesterday i woke up to discover i had dislocated my TMJ meniscus in my sleep in spite of my splint. OW! can i say OW again? this is worse than a standard dislocation because it doesn't reduce the way a lockjaw does. how does a jaw problem tie to knitting? most of the problem is from my jaw conformation and ongoing financial and emotional stress, but i do wear a splint at night and guard against things that may exacerbate my TMJ. while knitting yesterday, i suddenly realized that i may have caused the new dislocation myself!
i am a bit of a sock scofflaw. to avoid ladders in my socks, i track the needle stitches- you know, Needle 1, Needle 2, Needle 3- with safety pin stitch markers and knit two extra stitches across the end of each DPN so the work migrates, if that makes sense. this means i end up with an empty extra needle for two stitches three times a round. i am working on sliding it into my hand to increase my speed but still have a tendency to hold the extra DPN in my mouth. what i hadn't realized was how much strain this places on my jaw.
oy. OY!
talking, eating, yawning- all bad. my plans for Easter at Denny's are out. it could only make things worse. instead i am home being as quiet as possible and limiting my food intake to mushy items. sigh.
i did indeed finish the monkey socks on Friday. i had been very stressed about running out of yarn, but ended up having plenty. well, not exactly. the leftover yarn is to the right of my feet and there was obviously no danger of running out but... i hit a knot when i was moving into shaping for the second toe. as will be apparent to any knitter, the yarn downstream was definitely from another dye lot. i considered frogging and making something else with the yarn but in the end decided not to. i don't wear socks with sandals so no one but me will know. given how delicious it is, this won't turn me off of Jitterbug but i will make sure to watch carefully for knots when the hanks are wound.
Friday, after picking up Esther and getting her shoe situation sorted out, i stopped by the local Hancock's Fabrics. it is a remarkably hideous place and is actually being closed. yes, indeedy. you know where i am headed with this- Store Closing Sale.
yarn was on sale 50% off but because it is an awful store, the purchases were quite limited. in the end, although i could find no yarn, i did find a reasonable amount of happily colored crochet thread (DMC Senso) that i suspected would work for socks. i have been wanting to make the Yarn Harlot's tulip socks so this made for a lovely opportunity to test drive both the thread and the pattern. i am almost done with the second sock and think the light cotton will make for perfect summer socks. (Note: they shouldn't be baggy on the intended recipient.)
the injury? oh yeah.
yesterday i woke up to discover i had dislocated my TMJ meniscus in my sleep in spite of my splint. OW! can i say OW again? this is worse than a standard dislocation because it doesn't reduce the way a lockjaw does. how does a jaw problem tie to knitting? most of the problem is from my jaw conformation and ongoing financial and emotional stress, but i do wear a splint at night and guard against things that may exacerbate my TMJ. while knitting yesterday, i suddenly realized that i may have caused the new dislocation myself!
i am a bit of a sock scofflaw. to avoid ladders in my socks, i track the needle stitches- you know, Needle 1, Needle 2, Needle 3- with safety pin stitch markers and knit two extra stitches across the end of each DPN so the work migrates, if that makes sense. this means i end up with an empty extra needle for two stitches three times a round. i am working on sliding it into my hand to increase my speed but still have a tendency to hold the extra DPN in my mouth. what i hadn't realized was how much strain this places on my jaw.
oy. OY!
talking, eating, yawning- all bad. my plans for Easter at Denny's are out. it could only make things worse. instead i am home being as quiet as possible and limiting my food intake to mushy items. sigh.
Friday, April 06, 2007
knittacular
all the excitement about my Defense and personal nonsense has pushed knitting content to the back burner. time to catch up...
Monday i was pretty stressed between worrying about me, my Defense, my family's various and sundry near misses with death, my dear friends' cat. this whole obsession with my my me disgusted me so i decided to take a break to focus on someone else.
i whipped out the Comfort Scarf yarn i had been assiduously avoiding since frogging it for too closely resembling an Elmo scalping. in an attempt to get around the pelt feel, i bumped my needles up to US 13s. i used a slanting edge and took the scarf out pretty wide for the body so that it could be used as a head wrap as well as scarf. before i knew it, i had completed the cast off. i still think it looks like Elmo meets Hannibal Lector but TraVy says its quite comfy so we are going to leave it at that.
the Monkey socks are cruising along quite well. i anticipate casting off the second sock today. i'm using Jitterbug sock yarn in Blue Parrot and US 1s. the yarn has spiraling color patches (feathers i suppose) that pool interestingly as a result of the K2tog / YOs. i actually really like the way they are turning out and the dyes are so rich and soft a girl could just drown in them.
last night Jen and i went to Denver to see the Yarn Harlot Stephanie Pearl-McPhee at the Tattered Cover. Jen and i can't decide which was better - Stephanie's talk or watching 200 people click-clack along in their own special ways on their projects.
i gave Stephanie a little Army man to cover her back next time she flies through O'Hare. Stephanie brought the Bohus and, as i touched it, i surrendered to the fumes. Travy has offered to get me the kit i have been ogling to celebrate my successful Defense and i no longer have the willpower to resist...
finally, the irises Steinie sent me have really opened up so i was able to get a good photo for you all:
Monday i was pretty stressed between worrying about me, my Defense, my family's various and sundry near misses with death, my dear friends' cat. this whole obsession with my my me disgusted me so i decided to take a break to focus on someone else.
i whipped out the Comfort Scarf yarn i had been assiduously avoiding since frogging it for too closely resembling an Elmo scalping. in an attempt to get around the pelt feel, i bumped my needles up to US 13s. i used a slanting edge and took the scarf out pretty wide for the body so that it could be used as a head wrap as well as scarf. before i knew it, i had completed the cast off. i still think it looks like Elmo meets Hannibal Lector but TraVy says its quite comfy so we are going to leave it at that.
the Monkey socks are cruising along quite well. i anticipate casting off the second sock today. i'm using Jitterbug sock yarn in Blue Parrot and US 1s. the yarn has spiraling color patches (feathers i suppose) that pool interestingly as a result of the K2tog / YOs. i actually really like the way they are turning out and the dyes are so rich and soft a girl could just drown in them.
last night Jen and i went to Denver to see the Yarn Harlot Stephanie Pearl-McPhee at the Tattered Cover. Jen and i can't decide which was better - Stephanie's talk or watching 200 people click-clack along in their own special ways on their projects.
i gave Stephanie a little Army man to cover her back next time she flies through O'Hare. Stephanie brought the Bohus and, as i touched it, i surrendered to the fumes. Travy has offered to get me the kit i have been ogling to celebrate my successful Defense and i no longer have the willpower to resist...
finally, the irises Steinie sent me have really opened up so i was able to get a good photo for you all:
Thursday, April 05, 2007
this shouldn't be funny
my Type A personality makes me an early person. not a morning person but an early person. for big events, i tend to struggle and stress and then find i am ready three days in advance with nothing but the slow click of the second hand on the clock to distract me. that is when i tend to get unreasonable with regard to those around me.
in theory, it isn't possible to be early for a Defense, because there is always one more paper you haven't read, one more flow problem in the slides. but eventually a person hits the point where even one more thing learned will cause something much more important to fall out one's ear. i hit this point Friday. i still had 3 days of slide revisions to go, but there was simply no option for further accretion of data. because i spent most of 2007 in hermiit-mode in anticipation of this turn of events, it didn't really affect anyone else. Travy is easygoing enough that he just simultaneously coddled and ignored me.
knowing this about myself, i was very careful not to leave too early on Tuesday for the hospital. too much time waiting there would just whip me into an inchoate frenzy. i got up and read email. made my first latte and checked blogs. pet the cats and studied my yarn. eventually i showered and made a second latte. after dressing, i set aside two extras of most things in case of emergency. i packed up all my books and articles. loading the car was done in stages to best mete out time. finally, i packed up my ninjas (Thank you again, Denise!) and left for work. it was still too early (11 am) but there was nothing left with which to distract myself at home.
pulling into the parking lot, i heard a subtle clicking noise. Esther doesn't make clicky noises. i parked, exited and looked back from whence i came to note 'water' trailing about 100 yards.
hmm.
i walked around to the passenger side of the car to unload her and discovered coolant pooling round the front tire, like blood around a gunshot victim in a movie. the pool had grown past 18 inches in diameter in the time it took me to walk from the left of the car to the right.
'This can't be good,' i think to myself.
'This is going to be expensive,' i think to myself.
'This is actually kind of funny,' i think to myself and then worry the pressure has finally made me snap. but really, it was kind of funny because it was fit the flow of the rest of my life so well.
i wanted to clean things up - it is a vet hospital after all - but the fluid just kept coming, i was already girlified, and i no idea what other surprises might await me. so i made my way inside with all my books, clothes, computer, peripherals and food for attendees.
i called the mechanic who recommended i just drive the car over when the Defense was past - in spite of the lack of coolant. 'There must be some still in the system.' anyone else notice how men always assume women are exaggerating when it comes to cars or construction?
on to the Defense... my talk clocked at around 75 minutes, before questions. the attendance was significant, in sharp contrast to my Prelim. people were interested. the talk with questions ended up running two hours. we took a short break, during which i ended up continuing to answer questions. i reconvened with my committee to answer any further questions. given the strong audience participation, most of their questions had been addressed already. this portion lasted 30 minutes at most. they excused me for deliberations which lasted a grand total of two minutes based on the call time of my update to Trav.
and then it was over.
i hefted the books back to my office where a dozen irises were waiting from Steinie. [i will post a picture soon but am waiting as they are still opening up.] i hitched a ride with my boss to a nearby bar for our celebratory drink. poor Esther had created quite a mess by this time but appeared to still be hemorrhaging coolant...
since my boss had a lecture to give that evening, we went at a bar near the hospital to start. the bartender Bradford swore he could make a margarita to rival the Rio's. the ninjas liked this marg but didn't agree that it bested a Rio marg...
LAP's wife and my dear dear friend kittyCat joined us and gave the ninjas and me a lift to the Rio to celebrate in style. all the lab girls turned out for the fun, which meant a lot to me. TraV of course was there and LAP joined us after his lecture. we all had far too much tequila, esp the ninjas who got quite belligerent. as you can see here, Cat and i had to break up a couple ninja fights:
yesterday i spent righting my apartment and my liver. eventually i biked in to campus to turn in my Final Examination Results form and then to the hospital to have the car towed to the shop. sadly, Esther's water pump blew. it will be about a grand to get her back in fighting trim. after quite lengthy discussions with the auto mechanic, my mother, Roland and TraV, i have decided to stand by my car instead of abandoning her for someone younger, sexier and under warranty. what the hell. life is a crap shoot.
tonight, Jen, the ninjas and i are going to Denver to see the Yarn Harlot. it should be a grand time and a nice way to celebrate.
Monday, April 02, 2007
my mantra...
and now 2 hours 49 minutes later, i can state I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED...
more later...
have you ever noticed how...
just when you think you cannot stand another minute, life suddenly brings you sunshine and puppy dog tails?
Bob the Carpenter just arrived to continue putting back up my kitchen wall. yes, it really has been 6 weeks since they tore it out. that may deserve its own post, but i just try not to think about it.
anyway, Bob asked whether i knew there was a package on the stoop... which i didn't.
out i popped to discover a box courtesy of my recently made e-friend Denise. even before opening it, i was all full of happy squiggles. Travy has made it his mission to change things, but it is still pretty rare for me to be the spoilee instead of the caretaker.
so many delightful surprises awaited me. i felt like Amahl when Caspar reveals his lovely secrets:
I never travel without my box.
In the first drawer I keep...
JAM! Homemade happy jam!
Presents from Denise (Unravelled)!
Originally uploaded by jacquichris.
This is my box, this is my box.
I never travel without my box.
In the second drawer I keep...
Kittycats. And yummy, energizing soap!
This is my box, this is my box.
I never travel without my box.
In the third drawer-
Oh, little boy! Oh, little boy!
In... the third... drawer... I keep...
BLACK SWEET LICORICE, BLACK SWEET LICORICE!
LORNA'S LACES! SOFT, SUPPLE LACES!
SOOTHING VIBRANT LACES!
Its all MINE!
Presents from Denise (Unravelled)!
Originally uploaded by jacquichris.
really, truly there aren't words to share how very special this generous and thoughtful box of wonders is to me. i may even sneak the Laces in to watch my Defense...
frogs everywhere
i just tore out my second sock in a week. [grumble grumble.] TraV reminded me that this is part of freestylin' new things, but that doesn't mean i ain't grumpy about it.
like that is what my grumptacular state is really about. (and yes, that is an intentionally abandoned preposition. i like to deliberately abuse grammar when cranky.)
yesterday i finished the second version of a sock for Spinny Bunt Lara. [the first got frogged after i confused it so much i could find no way to salvage.] pictures will have to wait since i want the finished product to be a surprise.
two sock projects cling valiantly to their needles - a pair of green and white plain socks for Travy in squishilicious Opal and a pair of Cookie A's monkey socks in 'to die for' Jitterbug for me me me! sadly, the toe-up diamond panel ankle socks i started have leapt bravely into the nether after recognizing their ridiculous largeness. they look forward to coming back sized for a human person in the nearish future.
finally, the hydrangea Travy got me is still gorgeous. so gorgeous that i have to share:
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Mom headlines the VU webpage
today we have a bit of fun for a change! Mom is currently headlining the Vanderbilt University homepage. and yes, she really is that dynamic in daily living.
also, my brother has been released from the hospital. we are not sure yet what is going on with him, but stroke, heart attack and brain aneurysm (i.e. actively dying) have all been ruled out. (thank you-know-who.) now the questions remain: did the episodes truly resulted from hypertensive encephalopathy or is the hypertension a red herring? why is Brian having fairly marked hypertension when he was normotensive just a few months ago? is Milla Jovovich as badass in person as she is in the movies? these questions and more to (hopefully) be answered in our next episode...
this quote, courtesy of my brother, after a long discourse between his doctor and me regarding SOTA (state of the art) for hypertension and lightheadedness/presyncopal episodes:
also, my brother has been released from the hospital. we are not sure yet what is going on with him, but stroke, heart attack and brain aneurysm (i.e. actively dying) have all been ruled out. (thank you-know-who.) now the questions remain: did the episodes truly resulted from hypertensive encephalopathy or is the hypertension a red herring? why is Brian having fairly marked hypertension when he was normotensive just a few months ago? is Milla Jovovich as badass in person as she is in the movies? these questions and more to (hopefully) be answered in our next episode...
this quote, courtesy of my brother, after a long discourse between his doctor and me regarding SOTA (state of the art) for hypertension and lightheadedness/presyncopal episodes:
"Your sister sure knows an awful lot about human medicine for a veterinarian."
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
exhaustion
things continue to be crazy here. as much as i would like to continue keeping things close to the chest, i feel like-for my sake-i have to abandon that approach.
in addition to the Defense and the cat and the apartment demolition, things have actually been more than a little bit stressful on the personal front. three weeks ago, while on choir tour, Mom had a drug reaction to a new medication. she had a grand mal seizure, necessitating hospitalization. at that time, it was discovered that she also had severe hyponatremia (low blood sodium), probably secondary to a long-term reaction to her blood pressure medication. she was released after 24 hour observation but has had severe rib and back pain since that time which is only partially controlled with pain medications.
as you can imagine, this has played havoc with her morale and really negatively affected her ability to believe that things are eventually going to get better. waking up in the hospital all 'broken' again with no understanding of why just harkens too strongly back to the accident.
Roland and i decided that a surprise visit might be just the thing to improve morale and so i flew home Thursday for a long weekend visit. Roland met me at the airport after running to the grocery store. Mom suspected nothing and it was just wonderful to surprise her so!
Friday was a great day of fun and frivolity. Saturday we completed an epic amount of chores before meeting up with Kelly and Bill for dinner. it was spectacular to be all together again. actually the whole weekend was quite special and lovely for us all. Sunday, unfortunately, Roland lost his balance working in the yard and fell - bashing his head against a concrete water diverter. in addition to abrasions on both forearms, he sustained a cut down to the cartilage of his left ear and a 3 inch full thickness laceration (to the bone) on the back of his head. this sent us back to the hospital - after two hours and three frustrating attempts to get him seen at an urgent care center. Roland ended up needing a head CT - which thankfully was normal - as well as 4 stitches in his ear and roughly 10 staples in his skull. he was quite the trooper about it all. we finally made it home for dinner just before 10pm. Roland noted that now he and Mom will have matching scars since his laceration is the same place she had her craniotomy.
Monday, Mom had an appointment with a physical therapist about her side. as ever, getting things sorted out for the appointment was an epic ordeal, but the appointment itself was very helpful. it turns out that, during the seizure and associated fall, one of Mom's ribs got jammed in a cocked back position. it is not moving normally with the rest of her ribs, which is causing high shearing pressures on the associated muscles. the therapist was actually surprised that she was doing as well as she is. the good news is that it should be completely fixable with appropriate therapy.
with my Defense fast approaching, i flew back last night. Trav met me at the airport and brought me home. he had straightened and stocked emergency rations and got me the most lovely hydrangea. it was all just so sweet of him!
this morning, i headed in for a recheck appointment for Zaney before planning to buckle down on my Defense preparations. partway through the appointment, i received a call from Mom that my brother was being hospitalized for severe dizziness. it turns out this is the second episode of dizziness he has experienced in the past couple weeks. thus far, all tests (blood work, EKG, chest radiographs, head CT etc) are normal with the exception of moderate hypertension. although his blood pressure does not seem high enough to be causing his symptoms, they are trying treatment of it first, since they can find nothing else wrong. we will just have to wait and see what happens. brain MRI may be the next step.
because i was concerned about missing something given my state of mind, another doctor is taking over on Zaney. i feel terrible, like i am letting my friends down as both a friend and doctor, but i cannot risk overlooking something.
now i am home, receiving intermittent medical updates and trying to get cat vomit out of the couch. as you can imagine, i am no longer particularly in a place to work on my Defense. with only a week remaining though, i haven't much choice. i could contact my committee about rescheduling, but honestly i need to do this. rescheduling would just make me feel even more like i need to just give up on my life and career so i can care for everyone else. if i have to cancel the Defense, i suspect i might not reschedule. ever. i might just give up.
the thought of giving up just feet from the finish line brings me such exquisite sorrow, i cannot bear to face it.
so cross your fingers and pray i can do this. i just really need a win, since life is apparently never going to ease up on the bit.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
step 2: check!
completing a PhD is kind of like completely an epic backpack - a Pacific Crest or Appalachian Trail backpack. it doesn't proceed as one would expect and years can be spent struggling without achieving any appreciable progress. there are heady moments when one finishes writing a grant or gets results back from the statistician, but more often days are filled with abusive reviewer comments*, incomprehensible experimental technique failures, and long periods of slow slogging.
yesterday morning i turned my dissertation in to my committee. to celebrate with me, Mom sent me these lovely flowers. they really brighten up the place and my spirits. i started my slides yesterday, but didn't push myself too hard. i was pretty fried and figured it would be better to recuperate than work inefficiently. the weather was nice enough that i was also able to fit in a 7 mile bike ride in doing errands. today i have an appointment to recheck my 'niece' Zane and then home to work on slides and future research 'directions'.
last night i did finish the fish socks. they are Knitty Pomatomus pattern using Marks and Kattens Clown on US 1s. i think they turned out very nicely and take pleasure in thinking of them as 'Rainbow trout' - even though no one else seems to appreciate the almost humor. cast on the yarn for a sock swap sock. pretty excited about it, and i think i ended up with just the right yarn.
have to get back to work now... sigh.
*anonymity can release otherwise normal people from social constraints, allowing them to say things both undeserved and beyond the pale.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
speed socks
Monday night i made the other cowgirl sock while puzzling through a problem. they are in fact quite yummy. they are the Cowgirl slipper socks from Interweave Winter 2006 edition knit in Ry Classic Silk Wool DK in Brownstone. in the non-digital world, they really are the color of New England brownstones. keep your fingers crossed that they wash well.
also, sorry about the missing info on the country socks! i forgot to transfer it over from the photo file! those socks were made with adapted use of the Country Socks pattern from Nancy Bush's Folk Socks. i knit them using Ecco Extrafine merino in #201.
been working on the fish socks. once you get your head around the pattern, they are actually quite fun to knit. a little hard on the arms maybe, but that probably is more that i am obsessively over-knitting. eventually i will sleep again and maybe not look like the undead snowpeople on Kylie's Christmas stocking, but right now i knit.
got the first comments from my boss re the dissertation. not too bad. only two things that i will need to sort out. won't get the comments on the three remaining chapters until Friday (at the earliest). it is due to the committee Tuesday. things may be tight...
also got the galleys for a scientific article that has been in press for almost a year and is a chapter in the dissertation. one thing particularly entertaining about peer-reviewed publications is that the journal takes 2-3 months to get back to you about anything (at best) but you have to respond within 48 hours when it is your turn. [grouse grouse grouse.]
...
you are right. i tend to respond at that speed anyway. hate having things on the To Do list. but still, it is the principle of the matter.
also, sorry about the missing info on the country socks! i forgot to transfer it over from the photo file! those socks were made with adapted use of the Country Socks pattern from Nancy Bush's Folk Socks. i knit them using Ecco Extrafine merino in #201.
been working on the fish socks. once you get your head around the pattern, they are actually quite fun to knit. a little hard on the arms maybe, but that probably is more that i am obsessively over-knitting. eventually i will sleep again and maybe not look like the undead snowpeople on Kylie's Christmas stocking, but right now i knit.
got the first comments from my boss re the dissertation. not too bad. only two things that i will need to sort out. won't get the comments on the three remaining chapters until Friday (at the earliest). it is due to the committee Tuesday. things may be tight...
also got the galleys for a scientific article that has been in press for almost a year and is a chapter in the dissertation. one thing particularly entertaining about peer-reviewed publications is that the journal takes 2-3 months to get back to you about anything (at best) but you have to respond within 48 hours when it is your turn. [grouse grouse grouse.]
...
you are right. i tend to respond at that speed anyway. hate having things on the To Do list. but still, it is the principle of the matter.
Monday, March 12, 2007
big day
today is an exciting day. today i officially no longer have to view Mr. Head like this:
today is officially his first non-radioactive day. this means i no longer have to play extreme nuclear Russian roulette with the 100+ year old plumbing and can dispose of his urine normally.
hoo rah!
TraV and i both spent the weekend feeling pretty crappy. we went to Denver Roller Dolls showdown against Kansas City on Friday. i worked on a 'Comfort Scarf' i got from Carodan Farms. [the yarn is sold at cost, you knit the scarf and then the scarf is packaged in a gift bag and provided to a local cancer center.] the yarn i received is a lovely red long eyelash yarn. unfortunately, as the scarf knit out, i realized i hadn't picked big enough needles and it was looking disturbingly like Elmo meets Silence of the Lambs. i frogged it Saturday, and let me tell you that was fun.
i did finish up these puppies, which are much prettier in person than i was able to capture. and soft. so soft.
i also made un petit soupcon for someone special. it is a surprise so i can share nothing more on that front. i also started a pair of the Pomatomus socks, inspired by Lene. finally, i knocked out one of a pair of Cowgirl Slipper socks when my head was hurting too much to concentrate on a serious pattern. they are going to be just yummy to wear.
as you can imagine, i could not do this all on my own. fortunately, i had a lot of help...
Thursday, March 08, 2007
twitchy
man, i have felt weird all day. i felt like an overstimulated, overcaffeinated, vibrating at high frequency crystal chittering squirrel facing a tax audit with a sugar high. completely incapable of concentrating on my scientific reading, completely incapable of sitting still.
eventually i cemented myself on the couch with my legs pinned beneath me and a movie playing to knit like a maniac. i think i am better but, since my legs are still hopping like babies in a bouncy chair, the improvement seems relative. i wanted to get these socks finished so i can get them in the mail as a pick-me-up for Mom. socks at warp speed. good times. but they are done. i am really pleased with how they turned out. don't they seem like the happiest socks ever?
these i finished over the weekend since i really needed to blow off some nervous energy. my boss questioned my decision to give them to him before my defense... what if i didn't pass? i might not want to give him a present then. i pointed out it may be too warm to use them by the time my defense is past. he agreed it was sound thinking, paused a moment, and then asked if they were a bribe. sheesh.
random aside to Denise: i have reviewed the PhD manners book, and pompoms are definitely acceptable! i am thinking crazy variegated stripey colors because it has been a crazy mish mosh of a PhD project. boy, is it exciting to know i have a cheering section!
eventually i cemented myself on the couch with my legs pinned beneath me and a movie playing to knit like a maniac. i think i am better but, since my legs are still hopping like babies in a bouncy chair, the improvement seems relative. i wanted to get these socks finished so i can get them in the mail as a pick-me-up for Mom. socks at warp speed. good times. but they are done. i am really pleased with how they turned out. don't they seem like the happiest socks ever?
these i finished over the weekend since i really needed to blow off some nervous energy. my boss questioned my decision to give them to him before my defense... what if i didn't pass? i might not want to give him a present then. i pointed out it may be too warm to use them by the time my defense is past. he agreed it was sound thinking, paused a moment, and then asked if they were a bribe. sheesh.
random aside to Denise: i have reviewed the PhD manners book, and pompoms are definitely acceptable! i am thinking crazy variegated stripey colors because it has been a crazy mish mosh of a PhD project. boy, is it exciting to know i have a cheering section!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
