a Monday of a Monday

my life as it stands now...

i am supposed to be at work, but i can't get in the hospital because my ID does not have the right permissions.
- Solution: Walk in through Large Animal Receiving and convince them to let me through.

i am supposed to be in my office, but i can't get in the door because i have no key. (note: someone moved my officemate's stuff off the second desk- and informed him he was getting an officemate- so i could at least move my boxes out of the car.)
- Solution: Borrow master key from Maintenance to get in each day. Unlock door and scurry back with key before they need it.

i am supposed to be writing grants, but i have no computer.
- Solution: Bring my own computer and plug into network. [Nope. Network won't accept me.]
- Solution B: Work from home. Ignore boyfriend and dog rolling around on floor like toddlers playing while trying to write high-level scientific grant.

i am supposed to be responsive at all times by phone and page, but they inputed an incorrect number into the directory.
- Solution: Patiently wait for bitchyself-righteous informative secretary to stop chiding me for 'ignoring my phone' and then politely point out that 'Number not in service' message is not equivalent to 'Doctor doesn't care.' Request they either fix the directory, call my personal cell or send carrier pigeon.

i am supposed to be monitoring and responding to work emails in a timely fashion, but the mail quota is incorrectly set so low that i go over quota roughly every three emails and an empty mailbox is at 45% of quota.
- Solution: Delete email every 5 minutes and empty trash. Wait patiently for computer guy to return to work to fix tomorrow... or sometime.

i am supposed to be receiving forms for proofing and completion in my mailbox, but i have no mailbox.
- Solution: Look confused instead of aggravated when people keep telling me to watch for [insert noun] in my box, and then gently suggest things be left on random counter for me to find after i point out i will not have a mailbox till the 15th.



have i mentioned recently that i hate moving?