[blink]

my upstairs neighbor was evicted last month. this would be irrelevant to me but my landlady is taking advantage of this opportunity to gut and improve the apartment.

the downsides are:

• incredibly huge pieces of lumber regularly careen from above to crash into the ground outside my living room. this makes concentration on my writing almost impossible.


• i have been informed i will soon have an extremely large hole in my kitchen wall that will extend into the ceiling and remain in 'hole' form an extended period of time before being closed.

the upsides are:

• incredibly huge pieces of lumber regularly careen from above to crash into the ground outside my living room. this creates a certain sense of action movie danger and/or amusement.


• apparently i will soon have a washer and dryer in my kitchen. well, as soon as the impending hole of doom is closed.

i also have the dubious pleasure of conversations like this:

me: "Just so you know, one of the cats may be in hospital for several days so don't panic if you can't find that one." (me pointing at Mr. Head)

plumber: "Why don't you lock the cats in your bedroom so we don't risk losing them tomorrow."

me: "No problem. I just wanted you to know about Mr. Head in case you need to get in on the weekend since he won't be here."

plumber: "I won't be looking for the cats if I am here. I have no reason to go into your bedroom. When I have no reason to go somewhere, I don't. I find that helps with keeping things simple."

me: "Um, okay. I wasn't going to lock them in the bedroom indefinitely but..."

VERY LOUD CRASH from above and then slightly less loud WHIMPERING

me: "Maybe you better check on Ray?...

I hope he is okay."

[awkward silence]

plumber: "This is why he is missing fingers...

And a vertebrae...

You knew that right?"

me: [blink blink]

plumber: I guess I'd better go look."